were number one! yoowhoooooo!!!!!!?

got that right foLks. my coconut repubLic is number one in aLL of ASIA. take note in aLL caps - WE'RE NUMBER ONE IN ALL OF ASIA. jeeez. i never thought i'd Live to see the day when my country is recognized by the worLd body for being something. it aLmost brings tears to my eyes, reaLLy. Like i onLy need to pLuck a nose hair or summat just to Let the fLoodgates open.

and to whom do we owe this prestigious honor?

weLL the SO CALLED POWERS THAT FUCKIN BE of course! with the speciaL backing from our trusted miLitary.

FUCKING KUDOS, YOU ASSHOLES.

TO TELL YOU FRANKLY I'M GETTING FUCKING TIRED OF EXPLAINING WHAT THE SITUATION IS AND WHATEVER THERE IS LEFT OF MY REPUBLIC. I THANK YOU WITH ALL OF MY CHOLESTEROL INFESTED HEART FOR MAKING GOOD USE OF THE FUCKING TAXES THAT I {AND ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THEIR ASSES OFF} HAVE TO PAY SO THAT MY FAMILY AND THE FUCKING PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT WOULD FEEL SAFE AND PROTECTED AND CARED FOR BY THE LAW AND THE CONSTITUTION.

AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT...

THANK YOU FOR KILLING THEM TERRORIST PEOPLE EVIL DOERS WHO JUST HAPPENED TO BE POOR PEASANT FOLK AND MISSIONARIES AND STUDENTS AND GRASS ROOTS CIVIC LEADERS. THANK YOU. IT REALLY MAKES ME FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER KNOWING YOU'RE KILLING TERRORISTS. I FEEL SO MUCH SAFER NOW. THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. THANK YOU. AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING CHOKE ON WHATEVER YOU'RE EATING RIGHT NOW WITH NO ONE WITHIN A FIVE MILE RADIUS TO ADMINISTER THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER.

i rarely talk about politics, mind you and i hate the word. but even an asshoLe Like me has Limits. the resuLts of the study made by that hongkong based organization whatevershitithatis was just pushing the enveLope waaay to far. it is shamefuL. shamefuL. and we caLL ourseLves a repubLic? it doesn't even come cLose to fucking cuba. in aLL sincerity cuba may many things{some true some not} BUT IT IS NOT THE REPUBLIC OF THE PHILIPPINES. shamefuL. shamefuL.

my friend was right all along... terrorism is just a fancy word used by people with money.

well here's two words for you fuckers in power... and better take this to heart...

FUCK YOU

the reaL revoLution that you've been dreading wiLL come in a whisper spoken by the very chiLdren you bLeed at this moment.