Showing posts with label new age. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new age. Show all posts

Monday, January 17

69 Lessons

 

 

octopus-lessons httpwww.nataliedee.com012207octopus-lessons.jpg

The past year  taught me a lot of lessons in living, loving, learning and the whole shitload of everything that we call the human condition.   I can’t say that I became wiser. I consider myself as a decently smart individual,  however, I have my blond moments.  {* These days I’ve been getting them a lot. }.   Yes, I would not say that I am wiser now… Maybe a bit smarter than before.  Wiser, well I honestly don’t know.  

Ah yes, the 69 things I learned so far in the past year.

1.  I learned that  having a second had fridge  that I bought in some Japanese surplus shop so that I can have cold water in the morning is a bit extravagant, considering that I live in a box.

2.  I learned that buying second hand / cheap products doesn’t mean it’s cheap in the long run .  Wait till you get your electric bill.

3.  I learned that  an unused second hand fridge makes a real good storage cabinet for books, sugar,  and shitloads of cosmetics and beauty products.  

4. I learned that you need to act stupid sometimes in order to get your point across.  

5. I learned that it’s good to let others see your blonde side {and let them revel in it} so that you can UNLEASH the raging brunette later.  

6. I learned that money is really important in all facets of relationships.

7.  I learned that money isn’t everything.

8.  I learned that it’s easy to find a job but it’s shit difficult to establish a career.

9. I learned that there comes a point in your life where you need to choose between establishing a career or establishing a relationship.

10.  I learned that what I do in life is always about choices.  That the choice  I make may not necessarily produce my desired result in the end but I still make the choice because the intent is there. 

11.  I learned that there are times that things may not come out as planned.

12.  I learned that it is always good to have a Plan B.

13.  I learned that you start praying to the Universe/Jesus/God/Allah/Buddha/Mary/Paul/Ringo/Krishna/Shiva/Patrick/Tom when your Plan C fails.

14. I learned that it’s always good to have a day job.  

15. I learned that it isn’t enough to just have a day job in this economy.

16. I learned that the taxes I pay can pay for two maids in some places.  

17. I learned that I pay way too much taxes in this country.

18. I learned {a looooooooong time ago} that none of the taxes I pay go to public spending.

19. I learned that democracy is a very loose word…

20. … and so is Socialism.

23. I learned that Obama is not Jesus.

24. I learned that Noynoy can never be an Obama.

25. I learned that Manny Paquiao makes a Gazillion dollars in boxing.

26. I learned that I can never be a boxer.

27. I learned that Filipinos in general are really good singers.

28. I learned that I can never be a singer.

29. I learned that I really need to quit smoking.

30. I learned that buying an electronic cigarette does not mean I quit smoking already.

31.  I learned that I can eat 8 cups of rice in one seating.

32.  I also learned that eating 8 cups of rice ain’t good for my tummy. 

33. I learned that my maximum is 3 cups of rice.

34. I learned that I can get really fat in a span of 4 weeks.

35. I {re}learned that beauty is a philosophy,  a state of mind.

36. I learned that a person can be here on a Tuesday evening and be gone by Wednesday morning.

37. I learned the importance of telling the person of his/her worth. 

38. I learned that talent is discovered, but genius is reared and cultivated.

39. I learned that consistency is the key to everything.

40. I learned that family is cool.

41. I learned that you really don’t have to believe in Christmas as long as you believe in free food.

42. I learned that friends who fly thousands of miles just so that they could spend a night in my box apartment on my straw mat are the kewlest people in my book.   {Thanks guys}

43. I learned that 32 is just a number….

43.  I also learned that 32 is still 32.

44. I learned that people would do anything to get a job in this economy.

45. I learned how to say no to these people.

46. I learned that a lot of Filipinos are so fixated with American English. 

47. I learned that there is really no difference between toilet paper and paper napkins.  

48. I learned on how I could save on toilet paper and paper napkins.

49. I learned that I was living a really good life in China. 

50. I learned that sulking in one corner and thinking about the human condition {at least my condition} will do me no good except to magnify it.

51. I learned to smile on occasion.

52. I learned that it’s ok to be happy even when you’re life is really shitty at times.

53. I learned that love is sometimes a hard pill to swallow.

54. I that staying quiet doesn’t mean I  have acquiesced. it meant that I’ve understood.

55. I learned that I am indeed an Urban Sinner.

56. I learned that despite of this, I still love you.

57. I learned to believe in myself and myself alone.

58. I learned not to trust people who are cops, lawyers, doctors, business people, presidents, preachers, priests, nuns, motivational speakers, yadi yadi… because they swindle me everyday.

59. I learned that even 80 year-old cab drivers can still swindle me of my money when they get the chance.

60. I learned that it doesn’t matter whether I own a Blackberry or an Android or an iPhone because what really matters is how I use it  and why I bought it in the first place.

61. I learned that Google Sync is really a cool app. 

62. I learned that my ‘wow factor’ is only a day  when it comes to smart phones.

63. I learned that the best way to communicate is a face to face conversation.

61. I learned how to clean up my own mess.

63. I learned that it isn’t all about sex.

64. I learned that sex is great! But cuddling is better.

65. I learned that sleeping with the one you love {as in actual sleeping} when yer really knackered to the bone is way better than masturbating yourself to sleep.

66. I learned that I need to masturbate my mind more. 

67. I learned that it is important to be happy.

68. I learned that at the end of the day, I alone will experience my death.

69. I learned that there is a God/Universe within me.  

Thursday, September 24

On the Internet, Human Rights and Open Source

I just found out today from Wired.com that 30 years ago on this day, a company called CompuServe launched its first online service for consumers.   Some of you young'uns  prolly don't know what CompuServe is.   It's actually the first major commercial online service in the United States. It was the YAHOO & GOOGLE of the 1980s and it was sidelined by information services like AOL (which later absorbed CompuServe's Information Services Division) in the mid-1990's. CompuServe's services was later rebranded by AOL as CompuServe Classic but it finally closed it doors last July 1,2009, marking the end of an Information Technology era.  formation Service, later rebranded as CompuServe Classic, was shut down July 1, 2009. The newer version of the service, CompuServe 2000, continues to operate, and AOL has said that it will continue.



The Internet has come a long way since its inception to society.  For a very young technology, it has become a very important facet in our way of living. Some legislators in the EU are even thinking of making the Internet a basic human right.  I hope this comes into fruition because I believe it is.  People should have equal access to the Internet without any constriction whatsoever.  In a society that has not only become more global but also more connected,  people in the fringes should be able to access even at least the basics of technology.   It is quite sad to think that there are still many people in the world who haven't touched or seen a computer (this is also true in countries where you think this would not be possible).  Governments spend too much on making weapons and asserting their sovereignty and threatening each other's asses with sanctions and more weapons and more bush-the-button bluffs.  Wars do make money that's true, but they leave a lot of unaccounted faces behind.  Wars leave a lot of people dead, hungry, ignorant and full of hate.    If the world would only spend more on education, environment and useful technology that is open for everybody and not a select few, then the our wetdream for world peace is not really that far-fetched.  


There is a popular saying in the Open Source Community that THE FUTURE IS OPEN and I believe it should be. Technology is not only about the advancement of the human endeavour, be it for the sake of technology itself or for economy.  It is about human beings and how we can be human in a society that is at peace, safe and open.





Nuff said.

Thursday, September 18

What to do when the world economy is on the brink of a major super duper recession?

1. Vote right.  Hell yeah.  For those of you citizens of the world who are about to have a major election, try to choose the right candidate.  VOTE PARIS!   Vote for the candidate that focuses on issues - MAJOR ISSUES (like should citizens have more grocery coupons and shit). Remember, the world is a neighborhood.  Your choice affects the Circle of Life. Like they say, "One home's trash, is another home's, well...  trash too).

2. Get a piggy bank for chrisssake.  I'm serious.  The world needs more piggy banks.  Why? If all the ordinary people know how to save,  then we can probably buy out them multi nationals and transnationals and banks and megalomaniacs with our piggy bank savings! Like we'd smash them piggy banks on their corporate heads and make them count the pennies! That would be so hot. And besides, more piggy banks would create more jobs and shit (betcha didn't think of that huh).  But then again they'd outsource it to China, so meh.

3. Donate to charity. Help people who need help.  Charities need your help too, especially in a recession.  Like dude, have you ever heard of the PASS IT ON philosophy?  If not, google it.  I can't explain it 'coz I'm too lazy and hands hurt (don't ask).  So yeah, donate to a charity or a foundation.  Like, my foundation for example - Help Omar Go to Thailand so He can get a Butt Lift Foundation.  I accept paypal donations too.  Mack me if yer interested. :)

4. Buy a bike.  Low maintenance and no crude needed.  And besides, its good for yer prostate.

5. Write to your congressman.  Ask him/her wtf is he doing with the money that you pay'em to make yer shitty life a little less shitier.

6. Have a garage sale.  For real.  People like trash.  Sell anything, yer tv.  yer phone.  yer soiled underpants. yer class ring. yer pubes.  yer dog. anything goes.  The world is ending so it doesn't really matter.

but...

IF THE SHIT HITS THE FAN AND COMES SPLATTERING ON YER FACE.

I've got one advice for you. YES YOU DUDE.

7. Don't panic.  So yer losing yer house. So yer getting a divorce. So yer husband's cheating on you.  So yer bank closed.  So the world is about to end. Fuck that shit.  Life is short.  Everything is an illusion and shit. 

relax.

take a deep breath.

play some chillout music.

grab a smoke.

drink your non-chinese milk.

and call yer mom to tell her that you'd be crashing in for a bit. 




there.....

feel better?


good.



hope that helps.

Monday, March 5

bLizzard schmizzard.

darn it, darn it, darn it. i woke up today and i Looked outside me window and there's a bLizzard. a bLizzard. and i thought the warm weather was aLready a good sign that we was gonna have an earLy spring. {2 weeks peopLe, 2 fuckin whoLe weeks without knickers i went outside my fLat and it was sooooooo good to just wear somethng without Layers}. and now there's a bLizzard outside. a fuckin bLizzard.

and it's supposed to be the Last day of the spring festivaL season, the Lantern festivaL with aLL the fire works and sweet baLL thingie soups {they caLL it tang yuan here} and shit.

it's gLobaL warming i teLL ya. gLobaL fucking warming. aLL the fucking CFC's and KFCs and any three lettered acronym that ends with a C are trying to make a fucking grand comeback and a wake up caLL. aL gore was right, and the rest of the green brigade. we need to change the way we consume our naturaL resources and the way we spend our nationaL budgets. fucking free market economy shouLd rethink itseLf. that incLudes us. us. you. me. yer grannies. yer other haLves. yer secret haLves aside from yer other haLves. yer househoLd heLp. yer fuckin presidents. yer tax guy. yer fuckbuddy. yer preacher. yer bestfriend. yer crush. yer popstar. US.

damnit enuff of the preachin and time for some bLoggin.

i had a reiki session with wendy the other night. damn was she good. she reaLLy went aLL the way with the scents, oiLs, crystaLs, tarot cards and shit. it was so good that i dozed off on me tummy in the middLe of the session. good thing there was taibshe {her cat} who kept me awake because he kept Licking my right arm from time to time. i guess he Likes oLive oiL. by the way, i never knew that cat tongues feeL Like sand paper. i wunder what their tastebuds are Like?

anyways, after the reiki session, wendy gave me a reading. and it was kind of reveaLing. the cards actuaLLy vaLidated some of the things that have been swimming in my head for the past year or so.

reiki's just so kewL.

i've been faithfuL to my yoga {3 months and going strong}. i'm pLanning to do piLates too and then gym. yeah, you proLLy have figured out aLready that i Live quite a sorry Life that i need to vaLidate my existence by maintaining my 60 kiLograms. whut can i say? i'm shaLLow, so screw you. {kidding}

speaking of piLates. it's so fucking funny, the whoLe thing. i was Laughing my ass off whiLe i was doing piLates two nights ago. you see, i bought this set of vids on piLates. it said on the cover, "piLates for men" and it had a picture of some marLboro guy that had 12 pack abs or something who was doing some piLates pose. so yeah, i said to myseLf, fuck i've been meaning to have jesus abs then why not try fucking piLates. so i bought it. then Later that night, i tried the first vid {beginners} and i was Like, ok this is easy kinda Like yoga. but when the guy on the vid {jonathan urLa or something} told me to roLL over and hoLd my feet and so and so and cLap Like a fucking sea Lion from ocean park and sea worLd, that reaLLy set me off Laughin. imagine a grown man Lying on his back roLLing forwards and backwards and cLapping Like a seaL whiLe waiting for a fish treat from the hunky trainor in speedos. i did it anyways. i even made seaL sounds. fuck that shit. i Luved it. i was teary eyed because of the utter stupidity of the whoLe thing.

but
but
BUT
here's the kicker...

the next morning, my abs hurt Like heLL. i mean Like heLL.the Last time my abs feLt Like this was when i was 16 and i masturbated for 45 minutes under a mango tree in the middLe of the rice fieLd many summers ago {oooh those were the days my friend... those wer the days}. i have to say that piLates totaLLy rocked my abs. fuck you'd Look stupid i mean reaLLy stupid doing it but i don't care if i need to cLap Like a seaL Lion or jump Like a chimp or do the fucking hokey pokey as Long as it does the work, fuck i'm in!

jesus abs here i cum!


***********************************

updateupdateupdate


i am never ever... everrrrrrrr going to do what i just did again. never. ever. cross my fucking heart and i hope that my dead grandmother cut off me baLLs and feed it to the dogs of hades if i ever do.

one piece of unsolicited advise kids.

NEVER FUCKING GO OUT DURING A BLIZZARD. NEVER. NEVER. EVERRRRRRR.

not even if james van der beek is waiting for your sorry ass at the gate. not even if it means cLaudia fucking schiffer is gonna give you some mindbLowing sex after. not even if the queen of fucking engLand or tumbuktu makes you an honorary member of the royaL fucking famiLy.

never.

and don't say i didn't warn you.

Thursday, November 23

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE UNIVERSE

dear mr./ms./mrs. universe...

i never thought you had compassion for me. aLL my Life i've aLways thought that i was just this brown joe shmoe {who works as a part time hoe. ehehehe, ok, i know that was corny so sue me}. but then again, Life is waaaaay too mysterious for my brain ceLLs to understand.

behind aLL the buLLshit and the rough exterior, is a scrawny LittLe boy who Likes cartoons and tocino and good pre-pubescent sex!

truth be toLd, i am scared shitLess. but that don't mean i won't jump. i'm just scared of heights. but then again, i have a harness.

this might just be possibLe... and i couLd hear some cheesy Love song pLaying in my head right now. and you wanna know something? i think i don't want it to stop.

so there. once again universe, make me stupid. make me faLL fLat on me face with a gigantic mound of cowturd greeting me 'heLLo!' i submit. you van defiLe me aLL you want for your entertainment pLeasure... but don't Let the fuckin music stop. because you owe me that one at Least.

and by the way, thanks. i never thought that you had a heart...

Thursday, November 9

today

is/was my birthday {at Least in this part of the worLd it is}. truth be toLd, i hate birthdays. it's just another reminder for me that mortaLity is right around the corner and i better make haste in working in the fieLds so that i might be abLe {hopefuLLy} to reap what i have sown. aside from the mortaLity bit, i have come to not Like birthday parties because of some unsavory events in my past birthday parties. i have been receiving greetings from friends and famiLy, which i somehow appreciate {in a weird kinda way} even though i don't Like to remember my birthday. my vox neighbors nina and sunny keep saying it's just a number. it proLLy is, but i have yet to find the wisdom the wisdom of those words. i proLLy wiLL someday, when i'm saggy and geriatric and drinking my margaritas on a beach in antartica.

Last night, i have decided to make this day toLerabLe if not speciaL. i didn't want to ceLebrate, i mean, what for? jaded as i am, i reaLized that i am not THAT jaded. i stiLL am a cLoseted romantic {not the hoLLywood kind though}. i decided to make it a bit speciaL just a bit.

i reaLized that for the past 28 years {yes i'm 28 but i feeL Like i'm pushing 60 and beyond}, i have been ceLebrating my birthdays the same oLd way, and it's kinda getting oLd {pun intended}. you know, food, booze, iLLegaL substances, porn, human sacrifice, orgies, the proverbiaL birthday cake with them candLes Lit and i have to bLow the damn thing without spitting on it, yadda yadda. i decided to make my birthday this year different. no parties. no booze. no food. and no friggen cake with them candLes!

i decided to fast on my birthday. yes, a birthday fast. i started Last night at the stroke of midnight right after my sister caLLed me from caLifornia crying her eyes out {she's currentLy in the middLe of a messy divorce and by yoda i don't Like her sniveLLing-two-timing-greedy-soon-to-be-ex-husband-sLash-crackhead who i hope chokes on his toast right now}.

a birthday fast. i wiLL not eat anything soLid, anything chewabLe for the whoLe day. so far i've onLy "drank" oatmeaL and i wasn't abLe to finish it. and oh yes, Lemonade and water too. so far i'm doing ok, Like i haven't fainted or anything. in fact i was abLe to cLean me fLat and do the Laundry and wash dishes whiLe Listening to baden-poweLL {bossa nova is da bomb! i am so going to braziL when i'm friggen Loaded. maybe i'LL die there whiLe dancing samba in the middLe of sao paoLo wearing nothing but a band aid on me private parts. *Omar crosses his fingers}.

anywaaay, ennuf of braziL. why fasting, you ask. coz i've been eating for 28 god damn years! and i'm tired of it. no i don't have an eating disorder. i just wanted to, weLL for the Lack of a better word, make this day god damn toLerabLe.

and one more thing. you know i am not a reLigious person. i am cathoLic, oh yes {and i'LL aLways be, i reckon} but i am no saint. i respect reLigion in any form. i actuaLLy find it interesting and in many ways, profound. but reLigion is not my cup of jizz, i reckon. i do beLieve in jesus christ, and buddah and aLLah and the madonna {the mother not the singer, but yeah the singer kicks major ass too}, joseph, moses, david and jonathan, krishna and aLL them good peopLe who waLked this earth and spread goodness Like it was some fLyer for starbucks. and i beLieve in god. but these things {if ya can caLL'em things}, they're not reLigion. bah, i don't wanna have a Lecture on theoLogy and spirituaLity so i better stop. STOP!

ok there. yeah, i am not reLigious but i think that there is something "higher" than me, than this, this, this... reaLity i am condemned or thrown or existing or {insert any word here} in. be it god, the universe, the cosmos, karma, whathaveyou, i beLieve that there is a higher power or rather a higher consciousness that connects peopLe, things, the weather, Life in generaL.... the cosmos... Like we are aLL interconnected or woven from a singLe thread. it's Like myspace {ugh} where everybody is connected to tom {seriousLy, who wouLd have THAT many friends? even the friggen pope doesn't have that number of devout foLLowers}. anyways, yeah jeez i keep getting sidetracked i shouLd buy myseLf a one track mind for the Life of me {they don't have it at waLmart yet}. ok stop. STOP!

there

fasting. interconnectedness. cosmos. myspace. i wanted to fast because i wanted to make a wish. weLL, wishes actuaLLy. actuaLLy they're not my wishes per se. they're Like hopes and dreams. or my hopes and dreams for the peopLe i know and care about. {yes, i do have mushy moments}. it's Like this prayer, onLy more personaL, more sacred {for me it is} and more profound {ditto}.

for the past 20 something hours whiLe i have been trying to empty my body, i have aLso been trying to empty my mind. reLeasing thoughts of any kind to the cosmos hoping that it wouLd be heard or grasped or understood or even feLt by someone or some thing eLse. i was praying... i have been praying... i stiLL am as i type this bLog entry.

what am i praying for?

many things, i guess...

for my sister in caLifornia who is in the middLe of this messy divorce. for my parents to grow oLd and happy {reaL happy}, for my sibLings and their daughters and sons to have Live a good Life. for my 2 bestfriends to have the happiness and success they deserve. for a friend who feeLs he's Lost right now. for a friend who hopes to have her SRS within 10 years. for a friend who's in a midLife crisis. for a friend who has just found his freedom. for a friend who's recovering. for a friend who has diabetes. for a friend who has a heart condition. for a friend who has a Lump in his brain. for a friend who's going to coLLege. for a friend out of work. fora friend who's burned out. for two friends who had a faLLing out. for a friend who has faLLen out of Love. for a frien in Love. for a friend who's finding Love. for a friend who has found Love. for my friends in London, france, serbia, jamaica, austria, scotLand, newcastLe, austraLia, indonesia, maLaysia, singapore, the states, spain, china, phiLippines, guam, japan, canada and a whoLe Lotta other pLaces. for worLd peace {i stiLL beLieve in it}. for africa. for aids. for iLiteracy. for chiLd Labor. for the environment. for the middLe east. for mindanao. for my coconut repubLic. for hunger and sickness. for truth. beauty. freedom. Love. for justice. for civiL Liberties. for brotherhood and sisterhood. for dreams. for today. for tomorrow.

i'm no saint, so don't get me wrong. but even sinners and Losers pray. or hope for something better.

Monday, September 12

about Rilke

Lately I've been rereading Rilke.

He spoke to me once this summer, when I was alone and hungry and penniless on the train, and with the Gobi and the Huang Ho river as my only companions. I read him for so many times on that train ride to Beijing. Two days, he was my food and water. Two days, he told me how to speak with the Gobi and Huang Ho. Two days, he told me how to let go. Two days, he told me that it was alright to let the questions go unanswered. That in my own sweet time I will eventually get my answers. Two days.

Now he speaks to me again. Turns out that I'm not that pretty fucked up. I guess, I have Rilke to thank for.