2. Get a piggy bank for chrisssake. I'm serious. The world needs more piggy banks. Why? If all the ordinary people know how to save, then we can probably buy out them multi nationals and transnationals and banks and megalomaniacs with our piggy bank savings! Like we'd smash them piggy banks on their corporate heads and make them count the pennies! That would be so hot. And besides, more piggy banks would create more jobs and shit (betcha didn't think of that huh). But then again they'd outsource it to China, so meh.
3. Donate to charity. Help people who need help. Charities need your help too, especially in a recession. Like dude, have you ever heard of the PASS IT ON philosophy? If not, google it. I can't explain it 'coz I'm too lazy and hands hurt (don't ask). So yeah, donate to a charity or a foundation. Like, my foundation for example - Help Omar Go to Thailand so He can get a Butt Lift Foundation. I accept paypal donations too. Mack me if yer interested. :)
4. Buy a bike. Low maintenance and no crude needed. And besides, its good for yer prostate.
5. Write to your congressman. Ask him/her wtf is he doing with the money that you pay'em to make yer shitty life a little less shitier.
6. Have a garage sale. For real. People like trash. Sell anything, yer tv. yer phone. yer soiled underpants. yer class ring. yer pubes. yer dog. anything goes. The world is ending so it doesn't really matter.
IF THE SHIT HITS THE FAN AND COMES SPLATTERING ON YER FACE.
I've got one advice for you. YES YOU DUDE.
7. Don't panic. So yer losing yer house. So yer getting a divorce. So yer husband's cheating on you. So yer bank closed. So the world is about to end. Fuck that shit. Life is short. Everything is an illusion and shit.
take a deep breath.
play some chillout music.
grab a smoke.
drink your non-chinese milk.
and call yer mom to tell her that you'd be crashing in for a bit.
hope that helps.