Thursday, May 14

Anita Bryant isdachu?

Nooooo, don't go blaming Donald Trump for this hoopla {he is corporate evil by default}, nor the that right wing coalition for the preservation of the species, nope. Not even that Prejean girl who can smell her 15 minutes from a mile away. Thank PEREZ, people. Yep. He just successfully helped catapult this woman and her so called cause to greater heights. I'm pretty sure that Carrie will be sending Perez a Hallmark card {with a man and a woman on the cover}.

Tuesday, May 12

Prop 8 the Musical

Not really a fan of marriages of ANY kind. Personally, I think civil unions or domestic partnerships - gay or straight  - are the way to go when it comes to government involving itself in private affairs.  Let  the churches and their relevant religions have their marriage AND keep it.

Thursday, May 7

Summa has cometh! Forrest Gumping my Ass. Running Tunes.

Ahhhhh yes it has cummeth, and jizzeth it has a plenty. Warm days in Beijing make me all tingly in me boxers. I'm finally wearing shorts and flipflops at work. Gawd I love my flip flops. I just feel so liberated baring my dirty toenails for all the world to see {which reminds me - clean thy toenails}. Summer in Beijing became official in my book when the hotel maid gave me back the remote control for my air conditioner. I came back from work and there she was, the housekeeping attendant in all her housekeeping glory, holding the air conditioner remote control with a smile on her face. It's like I was receiving an award or something. I almost cried mind you. Not that I am crazy about air conditioning {although Its turned right now}, its just that I love summer. I adore it. The sun. The heat. The flip flops. Cold drinks. The beach. Scantily clad men. Speedos. Pina Coladas. Thinking about it just makes me want to jizz tenfold. Summer makes me wanna wear flipflops and it makes me want to listen to summery tunes and shit. I could go to work skipping like a bunny rabbit. Which I did this morning. Truly. Well, nobody was looking. And besides I was listening to a Mudvayne song and I felt like skipping.

I've been running a lot lately. Like 5 times a week on average. I wanted to join a marathon but it required a joining fee {like hell no!}. Like, so what if I can't join the Great Wall Kiddie Marathon. I can run by myself, thank you. I mean, Forrest Gump didn't join a friggen marathon and yet he achieved god-like status in the runners' world, huh! So yeah, I like running. Its sorta like becoming my zen. I never knew what ''second wind'' meant until I took up running. It feels so good. Its not like having sex. Well, its somewhat close to having sex but the thrill is a bit different. There's this rush, this adrenaline that you feel coursing through your veins that pushes you to take one more step even if you know that your body is almost about to give up.Its like yer balls are on fire in a good way. And it feels so good. There is no other way to put it. It just feels good for me.

I'm not saying that I've reached Nirvana or anything for that matter. I'm too shallow for that, I think; or rather I am not yet prepared for something like that. For some people however, running is a spiritual experience. The horizon, the point where the sky and the earth meet, is the juice that drives the runner to be kinetic. Its like a drug for some. She is like this expensive whore that you cannot have because you're short of a few hundred bucks. The runner is the John. She teases the John. The John keeps advancing towards the her, hoping she would give in. But she doesn't. She's unmoved. She doesn't ignore the John and she doesn't give in either. She is unattainable. She's Communism. She's Nirvana and Heaven. She's the Eternal Supermodel and the Porn Goddess Fantastic. She exists solely for the magnanimity of the earth and the sky. And yes, she is beautiful. Although the runner knows that he shall never have her, he persists still and moves forward for he is completely enamored by the idea of having her, this unattainable whore. And that very idea is his salvation. His Rapture. So he moves forward.

Dude that was kinda deep.
And I wasn't even smoking.
I think its the noodles I ate this lunchtime.

Bleh! Like I told you, I am not THAT spiritual yet. Yeah, sometimes I do get the tingly feeling I'm-one-with-nature-shit whenever I run, but only when I put on my nature-sport deodorant I-dunno-whatsitsname. It smells good. In fact it doesn't even smell like ''mother nature''. I like the smell though. Every so often whenever I'm running, I am tempted to get a wiff of my pits especially around the time when I'm starting to pick up my pace and I'm already breaking sweat. The smell of sweat and that deodorant just makes me want to jizz the pavement something awful. DON'T WORRY, I don't smell my pits in public - only when no one's looking. I'm sure there are laws against smelling yer pits in public and I seriously don't want to go to prison not unless I am inmates with Johnny Longbow, Mario Cojones, Bone St. James and the dude from Power Rangers.

It's nothing spiritual for me, running. It's more primal, I guess. I love the fact that I am sweating and forrest gumping my ass all over town and smelling like ''mother nature'' minus the cow manure and decaying flesh of dead animals. And the music. Duuuuuude the music is awesome when yer running. Its like it becomes better. Like any music becomes better when yer running. Even Celine Dion with all her screeching belts and nyaaaaahs and oooohs and waaaaaaahs becomes Celine Dioner. Truly. Music and running are like peanut butter and jelly.

Here are some of the music that I listen to right now whenever I run.

  1. Run Barbie Run - Eraserheads {Awesome song! a good way to start my running}
  2. At Last - Celine Dion Version {I tell you, it's Celine Dioner}
  3. Anything from Ella Fitzgerald's Cole Porter Songbook Album
  4. Anything from Mudvayne
  5. Living on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
  6. I'm Waiting for My Man - Velvet Underground
  7. Anything from Jimi Hendrix's Electric Ladyland Album
  8. Anything from Eels Daisies in the Galaxy Album
  9. Green Day's St. Jimmy {Saaaaaaaaaint Jimeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!}
  10. Anything from the Ataris
  11. Dean Gray's American Edit {mashup}
  12. The Beastie Boys {Body Movin! is on top of my list}
  13. Anything from Erykah Badu
  14. Jump - Pointer Sisters {fuck you I like it}
  15. Symphony No. 9 - Beethoven the Georg Solti Version {its like I'm running in the Olympics}
  16. Bat Out of Hell - Meatloaf {nobody sings it better than Meatloaf, and yeah, his titties are nice too}
  17. Anything from the Foo Fighters
  18. 100 Years - Five for Fighting {I feel like I'm in a Dawson's Crack set whenever I'm playing this Song}
  19. Soukura - Ali Farka Toure {this song is always, like always in my playlist}
  20. Hine Ani Ba - Hadag Nachash
  21. Anything from Panic at the Disco!
  22. Red Hot Chilli Peppers' Stadium Arcadium
  23. Anything from Asher Roth
  24. Anything from Third Eye Blind
  25. Lithium - Nirvana
  26. Anything from Jack Johnson
  27. Brown Eyed Handsome Man - Nina Simone
  28. Take Me to the Water - Nina Simone
  29. Ain't Got No - Nina Simone & Groove Finder Mix
  30. Anything from the Kaiser Cheifs
  31. Anything from Want One and Want Two by Rufus Wainright
  32. Ray of Light - Madonna
  33. I Like It, I Love It - Tim McGraw {fuck you I love country}
  34. Bob Dylan's Hey Mr. Tambourine Man and Talking New York
  35. Five Year's Time - Noah and the Whale
  36. Recycled Air - Postal Service
  37. Mr. Blue Sky - The Delgados

Aight. Omar's gotta bounce. I need to put on my deodorant me running duds. Daddy's gotta run.