QUICKIES. Bob Dylan. My floor obsession. Charlie Horses. The Loooooove Doctor.

First.  Bob Dylan is the bomb.  THE BOMB.  I don't care if he's old or if its folk or country yada, but I love his songs.  What can I say, I like his poetry because it speaks volumes.  I'd like to list some of my favorite Bob Dylan songs here, just in case you haven't listened to any Bob Dylan song {if you haven't then you seriously need to google the old fart and download his shit}.  Here are my top picks.

HAWT BOB DEELAN

Ballad in Plain D

To Ramona

Shelter from the Storm

Workin Man's Blues

House of the Risin Sun

Knockin' on Heaven's Door

Mr. Tambourine Man

Spirit on the Water

Like a Rolling Stone

Take Me as I am

With God on our Side

One Too Many Mornings

Talkin' New York

Man of Constant Sorrow

The Wicked Messenger

I've been cleaning my floor yet again. I dunno, its like I have this constant love affair with my mop and my floor.  I love cleaning it, especially when I'm in my boxers and sometimes even in my birthday suit {thank God for the trees that hide my windows. PLANT TREES yo.}

I had one major bitchin' Charlie horse 5 nights ago.  I woke up at 3 am with this bitchin pain on my right leg and I actually screamed in pain :(  It hurt like shit dude.  Took me about 10 minutes to actually stop the pain.  I was massaging my cramped leg, just touching it like and it actually helped.  THAT FELT GOOOOD.  I actually moaned some {ok a lot}.  My upstairs neighbor prolly thought I was gettin laid or summat. Meh.  I need more potassium in my system. 


I've been playin the loooooove Doctor yo.  And I feel giddy as shit.  I feel like fuckin Audrey Taotou in Amelie. See there are these two dudes who kinda like me sorta in the not so brotherly way more like Biblical Leviticus Sodom and Gomorrah type of way like.  They kinda saw my friendster {yeah I still have one} profile ages ago and we chatted on a few occasions.  Each of them tellin' me their woes of being young {they just turned two decades this year}.  Lets just call them Bob and Dylan.  Bob's EMO and Christian and has just dropped outta college and Dylan's a med student and Christian and detests porn of any sort.  Both are in the closet trying on their late grannies' stilletos and both have told me that they liked me.  I did tell them that they were cute and shit {they were} but they were far too young for me.  And besides Cupid has already pierced my ass mouth ears nostrils   heart{!} with his sword of love - and yeah I love my mystery man.  I ain't tellin his name on this blog because I'm way superstitious about this kinda shit. I did tell them that if I were younger and in the same country and available and all the crappy excuses I could make yadi yadi yadi yadi, I'd date them and we'd marry and have Christian kids in a nice suburban house, with a dishwasher, widescreen tv, a dog named Julio and a cat named Julia.  Two days ago, each messaged me separately {they hadn't known each other yet}, askin how I was.  Both were still single and looking for someone to devour still were kinda hopin that I'd put out.  I actually had to point out to them that I am in China and there's the South China Sea {they're both in  the Coconut Republilc} and me putting out would not really be possible.  Then an idea came to mind. Oh yes, I'm the LOOOOOOVE GENIUS.  Why not introduce these two kids to each other? I mean, they're both young, in heat, and starving for some good old fashioned closeted brother to brother loving. So I did.  And like an outsourced customer service agent I pimped them to each other while pointing out to both of them their similarities  - Christian, gay, closet, stilletoes, puberty.  Voila! Three days later,  Bob tells me in an offline message that he is in loooooooove.  Dylan tells me that he's gonna visit Bob soon up north and he plans to woo his EMO ass with dead flowers and angry Christian poetry.  Meh, young love. Makes me wanna puke.  Its still fuzzy though.

I felt so good matching them up.  I'm feeling like Oprah minus the vagina and boobs.