You gotta love the 50's {No Margie! Yer cake didn't turn out so well}

I know I wasn't born back then, {but I know a few people who were and they turned out pretty ok}, but I wish I was born or was already alive during the fifties. During the fifties, you could actually fantasize about Marlon Brando or Paul Newman or Cary Grant or Gary Cooper because they were still alive  and they possessed the youth and the masculinity that made that generation cum in their drawstrings! Nyargh! Damn, I wish I was born during the fifties. I mean, dudes, Hollywood men had spunk back then and most of them actually studied acting.  Now all you get is Zac Efron.  I mean he's cute as a toilet paper roll and all but I don't think America's National Twink Zac would be starring on a play or a film adaptation that would require him to shout "STELLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" on top of his lungs.

Gary Cooper.  Yum.

Another thing that I like about the fifties are those propaganda films that disguise themselves as instructional films on almost any kind of topic.  They're downright idiotic but they are insanely funny.  I love the narrator dude who acts like he's The Voice of God {he prolly was} and tries to tell them characters to do this and do that and be careful of this and be careful of that.  Maaaaaaaan, I miss the fifties {minus the Cold War, the segregation, the fact that being gay means yer crazy, the mandatory fire and brimstone sermon from the Sunday pulpit in suburbia yadi yadi yadi}. Then again, I am thankful for not being a baby boomer because that would mean I'd be in my 60's now or prolly dead.  Meh.

Gary Cooper.  Yum.

Watch the propaganda/instructional film on cooking for first time housewives. Margie, here doesn't know how to cook but the omnipotent god of the 50's helps her by humiliating the hell outta her then teaching her the ropes of basic housewifery.  After a few more jabs at Margie's female psyche and a little bit of instructing and tweaking and consulting the Book of Shadows,  Margie transforms into Julianne Moore housewife extraordinaire and bakes the motherfucking cake.  Notice in the video that when Margie's husband comes back home from the pictures work, he doesn't hear The Voice of God and just wolfs down Margie's Cold War Surprise. Now that's a 50's happy ending.

Gary Cooper.  Yum. 

These things make me dizzy

Many taxi's in Beijing have these interactive screens for passengers to play with. Kinda like those kiddie puzzles that you have in restaurants to keep kids from getting bored while waiting for the food. I happen to ride one of these taxis with my boss while going to one hospital in the business district (my boss had some sort of aneurism in his ovaries or something) and I happened to sit on the side of the cab with the interacttive tv. Curious me started playing with it, and sincethe screen was all in Chinese, I kept on asking my boss what this was and what that was, which caused him to nosebleed. It wasn't fun (not the nosebleeding, that was fun), the screen made me dizzy as hell. I felt like puking. These things are dangerous, yo.

I'm creaming in my pants right now.

And its not because of porn!  You may think that all Omar does is download porn all day {nooooooooo you are seriously mistaken my friend, because I only do that on Wednesdays! HAH}. I do use the internet for other shit.  Omar's gotta learn some culture, ya know.  So what made me cream in my pants? Well this did






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